Van Buren Democrat

Bonaparte, Iowa
January 19, 1870
Volume 1; Number 1 [first issue]
8 Pages

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Pages 1 & 2        Pages 3 & 4        Pages 5 & 6        Pages 7 & 8

page 5
Rates of Advertising:
Space 1 wk 4 ws. 3 mo. 6 mo. 1 year
1 inch $1.50 $3.00 $5.00 $8.00 $10.00
2 inches 2.00 4.00 7.00 10.00 15.00
3 inches 2.50 5.00 8.00 12.00 18.00
1/4 column 3.00 6.00 10.00 15.00 25.00
1/3 column 6.00 7.00 12.00 18.00 35.00
1/2 column 7.00 12.00 20.00 30.00 50.00
1 column 12.00 18.00 30.00 60.00 100.00
Local notices $.15 per line
LOCAL MATTERS. MR. W. S. SOMMERVILLE, of Keosauqua, has received the appointment of deputy sheriff of Van Buren County. THANKS to our genial old friend, Dr. O. George, for valuable books and papers furnished us, which proved of good service. The gorge in the river still continues and our mills and factory have suspended operations until the Des Moines concludes to either go up or go down. Messrs. Isaiah Meek, Dr. Boyer and Alexander Christian left for Texas last Tuesday, to be absent some weeks. We wish them a bon voyage and a safe and speedy return. JAMES FINN, ESQ., who lives about 6 miles south of Vernon, intends to remove to California upon the opening of spring. He offers his homestead to the highest bidder. For particulars, see advertisement. Strangers naturally suppose that all the business of a place is represented in the advertising columns of its local paper, and conclude that what can't be found there the place must be deficit in. A NEGRO teamster, named Barnum, broke through the ice while crossing a creek emptying into the Des Moines River, about 1 mile east of Keosauqua, and one of his horses was drowned. Too much precaution and judgment cannot be exercised in driving upon the ice with a loaded wagon. THAT prince of good fellows, Charley George, will please accept the thanks of this office for a jug of fine black ink of his own manufacture and also for a bottle of liquid which was not ink, "made from fruit grown in this state". DOT'S, "revery" is excepted. She will please accept our thanks for it and is requested to "come again". But might we suggest that she select a subject of a somewhat different nature. That class of contributions are better adapted to purely literary papers than to ours. THE blind songsters gave an entertainment at Entler's Hall, on the evening of the 10th instant, consisting of vocal and instrumental music, a short lecture, etc. The performances are tolerably well executed, and some of them possessed considerable merit. One of the first official acts of Sheriff Sommerville will be to place our county jail in a state of thorough repair. That is, to say the least, a much needed reform, for which the new incumbent is entitled to all praise. This thing of weekly jail deliveries, escapes, etc., has become a nuisance. THANKS.-- J. M. Cox, Esq., the gentlemanly and courteous operator and railroad agent at this place, will accept the thanks of THE DEMOCRAT for many kindly favors. Under his supervision, and the assistance of Mr. C. S. Detwiler, the people of Bonaparte may well congratulate themselves upon the very excellent condition of railroad affairs at this point. They are both as attentive and accommodating as any that ever fingered an operator's key or canceled a ticket, and most deservedly popular. The Ashland House, the card of which appears in another column, we commend to the favorable consideration of the traveling public. It has been our fortune to stop at this house several times, and we have always found everything on the square. Those who remember the Ashland House when kept by the former proprietor -- -- L. J. Mason, deceased -- -- may rest assured that the house has not deteriorated under the management of his son Frank. We are pleased to learn that he is going into the hardware business in Bentonsport, and wish him abundant success. He bids us prepare space in our columns for his advertisement when his new stock of stoves, tinware, etc., arrive from the manufactory. Look out for it. We direct attention to the advertisement of Pergin and Co., druggists and pharmaceutists, at Bentonsport. This is an enterprising firm, and deserves a liberal share of public patronage. Their stock is full and complete, their terms as low as the lowest, and their knowledge of the business thorough and practical. Travelers passing through the southern portion of our county are advised to stop at the Mount Sterling house, in Mount Sterling, kept by that very accommodating and liberal gentleman, J. O. Cook. They will find a very pleasant stopping place, indeed, and not be compelled to pay a double price for everything they get--and something they don't get. EDUCATIONAL.-- We would call attention to the advertisement of Bailie's commercial college in our paper to-day. These institutions are too successful, and have been too long established, to need any encomium from us. We advise all young men who desire a thorough education to attend at Keokuk or Dubuque, Iowa, as may be most convenient. The Republican has an article in its last issue, censuring the board of supervisors for allowing only $2 each to the parties who captured a notorious horse thief in the southern part of this county, some weeks ago. Taking into consideration the fact that the parties received a liberal reward at the hands of the owners of the horses, and that the board were probably aware of the fact, we don't know but that the gentlemen were well paid for their trouble, after all. George W. Sommerville, Esq., the sheriff elect, has been duly installed and taken possession of the books, papers, etc., pertaining to his office. In entering upon the duties of the position, he has the confidence and support of all good citizens. Capt. Sommerville served long and creditable in the union army during the late war, is a man of capacity and strict business integrity, and will probably make as good an officer as Van Buren County ever head. The true index of the size and commercial importance of a town is to be found in the advertising columns of its local newspaper. If not more than a half a dozen firms are represented therein, it will not take long to calculate that it is not more than a half-dozen business houses, or, at least, have a dozen businessmen, the puffery of newspapers and interested parties to the contrary notwithstanding. In this connection we referred with some degree of pride and satisfaction to the showing made by little Bonaparte. But injustice to our neighboring towns, we must say that they have, as yet, not had an opportunity of being represented. A few weeks, however, will decide what men and places in the county are doing businesses, and which are enjoying a respite from the bustle and activity of business life. By reference to her advertisement on the seventh page it will be seen that we promised the readers of THE DEMOCRAT a full record of the county news each week. We would be glad to begin with the present number, but the fact is that our correspondents have neglected furnishing us a report from their respective localities this week; and as we have not the power of rendering ourselves ubiquitous, we are unable to furnish as much home news this week as we desired. But the fault does not rest entirely with our correspondents. We are partially to blame. We received letters from nearly all of our correspondents, but as we issued no paper at the time we expected, they perhaps concluded to await further developments. Items two weeks old, can hardly be called news, we refrain from publishing those which our correspondents have sent us, hoping that against the time of our next issue, which will be, Deo volente, this day, one week--we shall be enabled to lay before our readers all the important news of the county. It may be a matter of some conjecture with some of our readers why the DEMOCRAT was so long in making its appearance. As the responsibility rests somewhat upon us we will endeavor to explain the why and wherefore of the delay. We had ordered a press shipped to us forthwith and received a telegram to the effect that it had been duly sent and would reach us on a certain day. _______ ten days after we had a right to expect it, it came. A lot of new type and material had also been ordered from Chicago, which reached us in portions, and all wrong end foremost; and that was cause No. 2. And then were we to speak of the various vexations incident to the work of commencing the publication of a newspaper, we fear we should hardly be able to make you understand this, and we can hardly understand it ourselves. Suffice it to say that the work is greater than we should like to undertake again. Just try it, and see! However, we are out of at last, and our readers will please consider us not egotistical when we say that we are not ashamed of ourselves in the least--and hope we never shall be. Life Insurance. Had we more space, we should give an extensive notice of the National Life Insurance Company, of the United States of America. We can only speak now of the vast benefits, and, we might say, duty, of all to ensure; and no company is better known or appreciated than the National. Bonaparte Debating Society. This society organized about five weeks ago, with eight members, and since that time has been rapidly increasing until it now numbers about 25 active members, and still seems to be moving onward with rapid strides, both as regards interest in numbers. At the meeting last Saturday night, quite a goodly number of spectators were present, all of whom seem to enjoy themselves hugely. A little disorderly conduct on the part of one or two members was noticed, but a majority seemed energetic and, indeed, performed their parts well. A good audience is expected at the next meeting, and the society are determined to devote every energy to make the meeting more interesting and instructive. See card in another column. X. THE MARKETS. Grain Market. BONAPARTE, January 19, 1869. The following market is reported by C. S. Detwiler, dealer in all kinds of country produce: Wheat, fall 60@65c, spring 35@15c, Corn, old 65c, new 55c. Rye 45c Oates, 33c. Timothy seed, $2.85. Produce. The following retail market is reported by A. C. Huffman Potatoes, 25@40c. Butter, common 15c, choice 25c Eggs, fresh 20c Onions, 75 @ $1.00 Chickens, live $1.75@2.00, dressed, $2.00@2.25. Turkeys, dressed 3@10c Beeswax, 25@27c Feathers, new 60c Rags, 3c. Coal Oil. 50c Salt, $3.20 Hides, green 6c, dry flint 15c? Tailow, 10c Coffee, 25@28c Tea, $1.40@2.00. Rice, South Carolina 12 1/2c Candles, star 25c Sugar, P. R. 11 1/2c, extra C. 16 2/3?, crushed 18, pounded 20c Apples, green 80c@ $1 __ bu., dried 10@ 12 2/3c _ pound. Peaches, 12a16 1/2c. Raisins, 25c. Canned peaches, per dozen $3.50a4.50. Vinegar, cider 40c. Keokuk. KEOKUK, Jan. 18. Wheat-- Fall 75a80c, spring 46a52, corn 55a60, rye 50a55c, oats 35a47, Beef cattle $3.50 gross. Eggs 23, butter 25a28, potatoes for 45a50, White beans $2a3. Onions $1a1.20. Hides--dry 15a 18c, green 8c. Timothy seed $2a2.40. Chicago. CHICAGO, Jan. 17. Wheat 78 1/4c; Corn, old 71 12, new 50c, oats 39 1/2, rye 70. Mess pork $27.25, shoulders 9 3/4a10c, hams 14c, dressed hogs $10.25a11.25. Cattle -- butchers' stock $3?a5, best grades $7a7.50. Horrible Murder! of high prices, by Geo. Schoenover & Brother, where may be found a fine selection of boots, shoes, hats, caps, gloves, etc., which they are selling at bottom figures. Give them a call before purchasing. MARRIED. PINDAR--McCAUSLIN -- January 9, 1870, the residence of the bride's mother, by J. L. Leach, Esq., Mr. Thomas Pindar to Miss Olive McCauslin, all of Bonaparte. DIED. COGAR -- in Bonaparte on Friday morning the 11th inst., of consumption, Mrs. James F. Cogar, at the advanced age of 70 years. . M. V. Railway Time Table. Trains arrive and depart from this station as follows: GOING EAST. GOING WEST. No. 2, mail...... 2:22 p.m. No. 1, mail.... 1:55 a.m. No. 4, express..4:02 a.m. No. 3, express 4:35 p.m. BONAPARTE LODGE NO. 22, I. O. O. F. -- meets at Odd Fellows hall every Thursday evening at 6 1/2 o'clock. JAS. T. HUMPHREYS, N. G. JNO. STIRLING, JR,, Secretary. - - - - BONAPARTE LODGE, NO. 73, A. F. AND A. M. -- meets at Masonic hall on Tuesday evening on or before each full moon. TTHOMAS CHRISTY, W. M. JAS. G. SHIPLEY, Secretary. - - - - S. FRANKEL DENTIST, BONAPARTE, IOWA. - - - - W. B. KERR, dealer in all kinds of SEASONED Lumber, Shingles, Lath Doors, Sash, Blinds, etc., Dried Flooring, Siding, and Clear Lumber. Farmers, builders and others in want of anything in this line should call and examine stock. Prices always reasonable and satisfactory. - - - - LAND FOR SALE! I offer for sale about 40 Acres of Land, 15 of which are under cultivation; 21 apple trees, set out last year; a good log house and a good spring of water. It is situated 5 1/2 miles west of Farmington and 6 1/2 south east of Vernon. JAMES FINN - - - - H. COOLIDGE, Bonaparte, Iowa. a sufferer from cancer for over 30 years, and after having endured a thousand tortures from different medicines and operations has discovered from his own experiments A Sure and Permanent Cure for All Cancers - - - - D. W. STUTSMAN, M. D., PHYSICIAN and SURGEON, Bonaparte, Iowa, Will attend promptly to all calls. Office on the corner of Main and Water streets, over Friedman's store, where he may be found at all hours. - - - - SAMUEL FRANKEL, Watchmaker and Jeweler. Bonaparte, Iowa. Watches, Clocks, and Jewelry neatly repaired and warranted. A good stock of Watches, Clocks, and Jewelry and Spectacles always on hand. - - - - MRS. M. F. WALKER, Milliner and MANTUA MAKER! WATER STREET, Bonaparte, Iowa. - - - - JOSEPH HINISH, TAILOR AND CUTTER. First door east of Meek's warehouse, upstairs, Bonaparte, Iowa. Trimmings, Etc., Always on Hand. All kinds of Making and Repairing Done Neatly, durably, and expeditiously. Terms reasonable and satisfaction guaranteed. - - - - R. W. CRAMPTON, District agent for Southern Iowa NATIONAL LIFE Insurance Company, Of the United States. PAID UP CAPITAL 1,000,000.00 Over 7,000 Policies Issued the First Year, Insuring over $7,000,000.00. Washington, DC P. O. Address, Ottumwa, Iowa. - - - - HOWARD, The Photo, and Gem Artist, BONAPARTE - - - - H. & J. W. DETWILER, CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS! (Shop in the Old Depot Building) Bonaparte, Iowa. We are prepared to do all kinds of Carpenter and joiner work, on short notice and on REASONABLE TERMS, hoping to acquire a liberal patronage from the citizens of Bonaparte and surrounding country. - - - - BLOOMINGTON NURSERY. FRUIT TREES OF ALL KINDS! Ornamental Shrubbery! Root Grafts, Nursery Stock of Every Description. Hedge Seed and Plants. For further particulars call on the agent. Will canvass this vicinity during winter. ALBERT TROTH, agent Bonaparte and Vernon - - - - CHRISTY & JOHNSON, dealers in DRY GOODS! CLOTHING, Hats and Caps, Notions, Hardware, Queensware, Glass, Nails, &c., Water Street, BONAPARTE, IOWA. Thankful for past favors, would solicit an examination of our prices before purchasing elsewhere. - - - - [TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Handwritten in pencil across the top margin of this page is the following: "Dear Mary (or Marg) - As this is the first issue of a paper in our village - I thought you might amuse yourself awhile at our expense. & perhaps the "Revery?" would strike a sad but pleasant chord in your heart for I cannot forget ___________ Sister" Write to me at this place - It has been so long since I heard from any of you & you all owe me letters. __________ I will someday be gone from here. Sister is living in Washington. Your old friend Ella."]
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THE GAME OF LIFE. This life is but a game of cards, which mortals have to learn; each shuffles, cuts, and deals the pack, and each a trump doth turn; some bring a high card to the top, and others bring a low, some hold the hand quite flush of trumps, while others none can show. Some shuffle with a practiced hand, and packed their hands with care, so they may know, when they are dealt. Where all the leaders are. Thus fools are made the dupes of rogues, while rogues each other cheat, and he is very wise indeed. Who never meets defeat. When playing, some throw out the ace, the counting cards to save; some play the deuce and some that ten, and many play the knave! Some play for money, some for fun, and some for worldly fame, but not until the game is played out. Can they count up their game. When hearts are trumps we play for love, and pleasure rules the hour, no thoughts of sorrow check our joy. In beauty's rosy bower; we sing, we dance, sweet verses make, our cards at random play, and while our cards remain on top. Our game's a holiday. When diamonds chance to crown the pack, the players stake their gold, and heavy games are lost and won. By gamblers young and old; intent on winning each their game. Doth watch with eager eye, how he may see his neighbor's cards, and beat unselect that go to bottom on the sly. When clubs are trumps, look out for war, on the ocean and on land; for bloody horrors always come when clubs are held in hand; when lives are staked instead of gold, the dogs of war are freed -- -- and down in the West Indies, now, see clubs have got the lead! Last game of all is when the spade. Is turned by hand of time; he always steals the closing game. In every age and clime. No matter how much each man wins, or how much each man saves, the spade will finish up the game, and dig the players' graves. THE WESTMORELY SPECTER. BY JOHN B. WILLIAMS. A year or two ago, for gentlemen were seated around the table in one of our fashionable cafés in the city of Paris. Three of these gentlemen were scions of the French nobility, the fourth was an English lord. "Are you superstitious, my lord?" Asked the Marquis de M ---- of the Englishman. "Why do you ask me that question?" Returned Lord Blackston. "Do you believe that the dead ever return to the earth?" Said the French marquis go to bottom. "I do," returned the Englishman. "What! Do you believe that a man dead and buried can leave his tomb and returned to the place where he last lived?" "That has often occurred," replied the Englishman, in accents of conviction that startled the marquis. The three Frenchmen gazed curiously at Lord Blackston. "Yes, that has often happened," repeated the latter. "I do not say their bodies return, but their spirits come back to settle affairs which sudden death has left in suspense." The Frenchman smiled. "You laugh at the statement," said Lord Blackston. "Well, you must confess it is a very strange one for a gentleman of your standing to make." "I will give you an example of the truth of my statement," said the Englishman; "I, myself, have witnessed such an occurrence." "You have seen a spirit walks the earth, my lord?" "Yes. It occurred in the little village of Westmorely, in the County of Sussex." "And you were there?" "It is in the westmorely that my country seat is situated, and it was there that the apparition appeared." "And you saw it?" "I did; but I will tell you the story, and you can judge for yourselves as to its truth." So saying, they all drew their chairs to the table, and Lord Blackston related the following incident of his life: "The Manor House of Westmorely is an old historic dwelling. It was often besieged in the middle ages. James II slept there, and is even said that the Pretender found a refuge within its walls. "The last proprietor of the Manor house was an uncle of mine, Lord Galway, who, although married, had no children. He lived a very quiet, retired life, and he and Lady Galway looked more like simple country people than members of the English aristocracy. "Lord Galloway's nearest heir at law was another nephew, a very dissipated young fellow, who lived in France, having been compelled by his creditors to leave England. His conduct in the French metropolis was scandalous, so much so that his numerous escapades were often mentioned in the public journals. "One day Lady Galway, read aloud her husband some episode more scandalous than usual, from a French newspaper. The old gentleman, afflicted with gal at the time, jumped up from the chair in which he had been seated, and explained with great vehemence, -- -- "That scoundrel of a nephew, Ralph, shall never have a farthing of my fortune. I shall choose for my air. My other nephew, Lord Blackston. [end of column 1] "One morning Lord Galway was found dead in his bed. One physician mentioned that he had died of apoplexy; another ascribed his death to aneurism of the aorta, and a third to something else. Whatever the cause of his death might be, it was certain that he was dead, and Lord Galway was buried with due honors. "After the funeral, the lawyer who witnessed Lord Galway's will searched everywhere for it, but without success. Still it was certain that a will had been made. "All search, however, proved in vain. No will could be found, and my cousin Ralph arrived from Paris to take possession of his inheritance as heir-at-law.. I had gone to Westmorely, and was there when Ralph arrived. He greeted me very coldly, and said,-- " 'Public rumor mentions you as my uncle's error; but I imagine you will not accuse me of destroying the will. I have just arrived from France, and you were here before me.' " 'I had to use you of nothing," I replied, in the same cold tone that he used. 'I shall leave here to-morrow.' "I ordered my valet to pack my trunks, and after having taken supper in my chamber I went to bed, having decided that I would take the train for London the next morning. I had been in bed about an hour, and was just falling asleep, when I heard a slight noise which caused me to reopen my eyes. At the same time a bright light invaded my chamber, which proceeded from neither lamp nor candle. "The door opened noiselessly, and a man entered. I uttered a cry of terror and amazement. It was Lord Galway, or rather his spirit! The dead man's face was lividly pale; he was wrapped in his winding sheet, and walked with slow and measured steps. He walked up to my bedside, his face beaming with affection as he gazed on me, while a smile moved his bloodless lips. In spite of his kindly demeanor I was struck with terror, and my hair absolutely stood on end. "The specter then made a sign for me to follow him; some unknown mysterious power compelled me to obey. "I rose up and followed him, clothed only in my night-dress. The doors opened of themselves before him, and the mysterious light accompanied us. He led me to the door of the room occupied by Sir Ralph, and this, like the others, flew open at his approach. Suddenly, Sir Ralph who was asleep, awoke with a start. He perceived the phantom, and uttering a terrible cry, fell upon his knees. "Oh! pardon! [he] murmured;' pardon, uncle!' "The phantom seemed to nail him, palpitating, to the floor by the simple power of his glance. The specter approached the fireplace in which was a small quantity of ashes. He took a small handful of these ashes and spread them on the table. And then occurred something more strange and supernatural than anything I have yet seen. The ashes, dark and gray at first, became whiter and whiter, and united together in a kind of paste, which by degrees assumed a solid form under my eyes, and ultimately became a sheet of paper covered with large writing. The specter made a sign; I leaned over the table and read as follows:-- " 'As I may die at any moment, I hear write my last will and testament! My wife having a sufficient fortune in her own right, I leave everything I possess in the world, landed estates and personal property, to my dear nephew, Lord Henry Blackston. " 'Lord Galway.' "This short will was duly signed, sealed, and witnessed. I then understood that it had been burned. "Sir Ralph remained on his knees, trembling in every nerve under the specter's mournful gaze, like a condemned prisoner awaiting the moment of his execution. The writing on the paper resuscitated for a moment, turned pale, and by degrees became extinct, and soon a little heap of ashes remained on the table. "The specter then made a sign to Sir Ralph, and under the influence of his sovereign will he rose to his feet, and approaching a bureau, opened it. He seemed to be acted on against his will; but he took pens and paper from the bureau and place them on the table. "The specter placed his finger on a sheet of paper, and opening his lips for a short time, said,-- " 'Write, assassin!' "Sir Ralph took the pen, still under the influence of the specter's uncontrollable will. The spirit dictated: " 'This day, the 17th of September, 186-, having made up my mind to kill myself, I hereby acknowledge that one evening I came to the Manor house, in Westmorely, in disguise. I was treated hospitably. I got up in the middle of the night and assassinated my uncle, Lord Galway, in such a manner as to leave no trace of my crime behind. I then burned his will in which he had made my cousin, Lord Blackston, his heir. This crime wears so heavily on my conscience that I cannot live. By my death, Lord Henry Blackston will at least receive justice, for he is the next heir-at-wall. [end of column 2] "After making a violent effort against it, Sir Ralph was compelled to write and sign this declaration. "The specter then opened the drawer which contained two loaded pistols; he took them out and place them silently on the table. The specter then made another sign for me to follow him, and we quitted the room. As we reached the room of my own apartment the spirit suddenly vanished from my site. I peered about in the darkness for a moment, then mechanically opened the door and passed in. "Bewildered and almost stunned by what had occurred, I threw on my dressing gown, and seated myself by the window like one in a dream, vainly tried to compose my distracted thoughts. It was impossible to think of sleeping anymore that night; I determined simply to watch and wait for the morning to appear, dreading yet longing to know what it would have to disclose. "I sat thus until the dull darkness of the east was lightened by the first faint signs of dawn, when wearied out of my vigil, I sank into a deep, unbroken slumber, from which I was awakened by a loud knocking at my door. I started up, and for several moments tried in vain to account for my being seated in the arm-chair instead of being in my bed. But presently the events of the past night rushed to my mind, and yet so vaguely that it seemed as if my imagination had been playing me some trick. I could not make it appear real. " 'No, no! It must have been a dream!' I murmured aloud. "The knocking at the door was repeated, and as I said, 'Come in,' my valet entered. He said the train I wish to take had been gone two hours, but there would be another in an hour and a half. He had been to the door once before, but as I did not answer his knock he had looked in, and seeing me sleeping soundly had not roused me, knowing there was no urgent cause for my taking the first train. "While the serpent was speaking I was putting on my clothes, as rapidly as possible, still thinking of my hallucination--as I could not help regarding it--of the night before. In a short time I was ready to descent. " 'Has Sir Ralph risen yet?' I asked, as I was leaving the room, and the valet commenced replacing the things in my dressing-case. " 'No, my lord; he sleeps late; probably he was tired out with his journey.' "I went down to the breakfast-room feeling vaguely impressed that something was going to happen. As I seated myself at the solitary table I felt that I could not bear the strange suspense any longer, and therefore sent a servant to Sir Ralph's room, telling him to be sure and wake the gentlemen. While awaiting the result I tried to school myself into something like a reasonable frame of mind, but the torture was almost unbearable. "The silence about me was presently broken by a loud shriek from above, followed by a general rushing of the servants to Sir Ralph's room. I followed the excited train, somehow feeling that my vision, or dream, was about to be realized. Arrived at the room, I ordered the frightened herd back while I entered. Great Heaven! There lay the body of Sir Ralph weltering in blood. Each hand grasped a pistol, and his heart and brain had both been pierced by a death-dealing bullet. The site was too horrible. I turned away and covered my face with my hands. " 'My lord--pardon me--but will you look at this?' "It was my valet who spoke. Turning to him I saw lying on the table by which he stood--the very document I had seen in my midnight visit to that chamber! the confession of Sir Ralph of the murder of our uncle, Lord Galway, and the burning of the will which made me his heir. "As may well be supposed, this affair created the most unbounded excitement in the community, and still furnishes a subject for gossip with those who are fond of sensations. For my own part I never spoke of the strange and mysterious events of that night, thinking they would only pass for the result of a fevered imagination and a peculiarly excited mental state consequent upon the death of my uncle, and other circumstances attendant upon it. "On the death of Sir Ralph my claim to the estate would have been the undisputed, even without the aid of the mysterious paper. So I took formal position immediately, but feeling a need of a change from the scene of these depressing events, I soon after left for London, whence I started in a few days for the continent. "I now feel convinced beyond a doubt that it was the spirit of my uncle that appeared to me on that night and revealed the facts concerning his death, and the missing will. Hence my former assertion that I firmly believe the spirits of the departed sometimes return to arrange matters which sudden death cause them to leave unsettled. Gentlemen, my story is ended." - - - - Shawano county, Wis., has an Indian population of two thousand, and a white population of about the same. [end of column 3] A Love Letter. The following sublimely splendiferous love letter was handed us for publication. We recommend it as a model to letter-writers: My dear Miss C.--every time I think of you my heart flaps up and down like a churn dasher. Sensations of unutterable joy caper over it like a ghost on a stable roof, and thrill through it like Spanish needles through a pair of tow linen trousers. As a jostling swim it with the light in a mud-puddle, so I swim in a sea of glory. Visions of a static rapture, thicker than the hairs on a blacking brush, and brighter than the hues of the hummingbirds opinions, visit me in my slumbers; and born on their invisible wings, your image stands before me, and I reached out to grasp it, like a pointer grasping at a blue-bottle fly. When I first beheld our angelic perfections, I was bewildered, and my brain whirled round like a bumble-bee under a glass tumbler. My eyes stood open like cellar doors in a country town, and I lifted up my ears to catch the silvery accents of your voice. My tongue refused to wagon, and in silent adoration I drank in the suite infection of love. Since the light of your face fell upon my life, I sometimes feel as if I could lift myself up by my boot-straps to the top of the Presbyterian steeple, and pull the bell-rope for singing school. Day and night you are in my thoughts. When Aurora, blushing like a bride, rises from her saffron couch; when the jay-bird pipes his tuneful lay in the apple tree by the spring house; when the chanticleer's shrill clarion heralds becoming morn; when the drowsy beetle wheels his droning flight at sultry noontide, and when the lowing cows come home at milking time, I think of the; and like a piece of gum elastic my heart seems to stretch clear across my bosom. Your forehead is smoother than the elbow of an old coat. Your eyes are glorious to behold. In their liquid depths I see my raids of little Cupids bathing, like a cohort of ants in an old army cracker. When their manly fire hit me up on my manly breast it penetrated my hole and anatomy as a load of bird shot would go through a rotten apple. Your nose is a chunk of Parian marble, and your mouth puckered with sweetness. Nectar lingers over here are let's like honey on the bearish call, and myriads of un-flinched kisses are there ready to fly out and light somewhere, like bluebirds out of a parent nest. Your laugh rings in my ears like the wind-harp's strains or the bleat of a stray lamb on a bleak hillside. The dimples in your cheeks are like bowers in beds of roses, or hollows and cakes of home-made sugar. I am dying to fly to thy presence, and pour out the burning eloquence of my life, as thirty housewives pour out coffee. Away from you I am as melancholy as a sick rat. Sometimes I can hear the June bugs of despondency buzzing in my ears, and feel the cold lizards despair crawling down my back. Uncouth fears, like a thousand minnows, nibble at my spirits and my soul is pierced through with doubts as an old cheese is bored with skippers. My love for you is stronger than the smell of Coffy's patent butter, or the kick of a young cow, and more unselfish than a kitten's first caterwaul. As the songbird hankers for the light of day, the cautious mouse for the fresh bacon in the trap, as a lean pup hankers for new milk, so I long for thee. You are a fairer than a speckled pullet, sweeter than Yankee doughnuts fried in sorghum molasses, brighter than the top knot plumage on the head of a Muscovy duck. You are candy kisses, raisins, pound cake, and sweetened toddy altogether. If these few remarks will enable you to see the inside of my soul, and need to win your affections, I shall be as happy as a woodpecker on a cherry tree, or a stage horse in a green pasture. If you cannot reciprocate my thrilling passion, I will pine away like a poisoned bedbug, and fall away from the flourishing vine of life, an untimely branch, and in coming years, when the shadows grow from the hills, and the philosophical frogs sings his cheerful hymn, you, happy in another's love, can come and drop a tear and catch a cold upon the last resting place of JULIUS EPAMINONDAS MUGGINS. - - - - Young man, it is easy to be nobody. Go to the drinking saloon to spend your leisure time. You need not drink much now, just a little beer, or some other drink. In the meantime, play dominoes, checkers, or something else to consume time so that you will be sure not to read any useful book, or if you do read, let it be the dime novels of the day. Thus go on, keeping your stomach full, head empty, and yourself busy playing time-killing games, and you will soon be nobody, unless you turn out a gambler or a drunkard, either of which is worse than to be nobody. There are numbers of young men just ready to graduate and be nobody. - - - - The coroner of Yuba, Cal., has received an invoice of coffins from Chicago. The Appeal says they are superior articles [end of column 4] PRINTERS Can get Types, Presses, and Printing Material Generally, at greatly reduced prices from VANDERBURGH, WELLS & Co. 110 Fulton St, and 16 & 18 Dutch St, New York, makers of Wood Type, Eagle, California and other Economical Cabinets, Cases, Stands, and Galleys. Factory, Patterson, New Jersey. - - - - TO THE WORKING CLASS. We are now prepared to furnish all classes with constant employment at home, the whole of the time or for the spare moments. Business new, light and profitable. Persons of either sex easily earn from 50 cents to $5 per-evening, and a proportional sum by devoting their whole time to the business. Boys and girls can earn nearly as much as men. That all who see this notice may send their address, and test the business, we make this unparalleled offer: To such as we are not well satisfied, we will send $1 for the trouble of writing. Full particulars, a valuable sample, which will do to commence work on, and a copy of the People's Literary Companion--one of the largest and best family newspapers published--all sent free by mail. Reader, if you want permanent, profitable work, address E. C. ALLEN & CO., AUGUSTA, MAINE. - - - - BAYLIES' Commercial Colleges And Telegraphic Institutes, Located at Dubuque and Keokuk, On the Mississippi. The Oldest and most Successful Business Colleges in the West. Book-keeping, with actual business, Penmanship, Telegraphing, Phonography, Mathematics and Surveying are thoroughly taught. No preparation is necessary to enter, as students are instructed in arithmetic and other elementary branches without extra charge.
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A chance to draw any of the above prices for 25c. Tickets describing prizes are sealed in envelopes and well mixed. On receipt of 25 cents, a sealed ticket is drawn without choice and sent by mail to any address. The price [prize?] named upon it will be delivered to the ticket holder on payment of ONE DOLLAR. Prizes are immediately sent to any address by express or return mail. You will know what your prize is before you pay for it. Any prize exchanged for another for the same value. No Blanks. Our patrons can depend on fair dealing. REFERENCES:--We select the following from many who have lately drawn valuable prizes and kindly permitted us to publish them: Andrew J. Burns, Chicago, $10,000; Miss. Clara S. Walker, Baltimore, piano, $800; James M. Mathews, Detroit, $5,000; J. T. Andrews, Savannah, $5000; Miss Agnes Simmons, Charleston, piano, $600. We published no names without permission. OPINIONS OF THE PRESS:--"The firm is reliable, and deserve their success."--Weekly Tribune," May 8. "We know it to be a fair dealing firm."-- "N. Y. Herald," May 20, "A friend of ours drew a $500 prize, which was promptly received."--"Daily News," June 3. Send for circular. Liberal inducements to agents. Satisfaction guaranteed. Every package of sealed envelopes contain one cash gift. Six tickets for $1; 13 for $2; 35 for $5; 110 for $15. All letters should be addressed to: HARPER, WILSON & COMPANY, 186 Broadway, New York
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Transcribed by Rich Lowe for the Van Buren County IAGenWeb Project - copyright 2007